Anthropology Student Syndrome

A real anthropologist. Real anthropologists rescue relics from Nazis. If you took two courses in anthropology in college but have no actual intentions of defending our national treasures against the Nazi scourge, then you, sir, have Anthropology Student Syndrome.

Occasionally, you will encounter an individual afflicted with Anthropology Student Syndrome.

Individuals afflicted with ASS have typically consumed a great deal of anthropology material and are familiar with at least some of the mores of people who live at the band or tribe level of organization. They are especially fascinated by those customs which part ways with Western ideas about sexuality, marriage, or child-rearing, and will drop references to these cultures into any casual conversation that references a traditional Western perspective, for example, that of Dr. Laura Schlessinger.

The following is an example of a person afflicted with ASS. Blue is the initiator of the conversation, green is the person countering with an especially ASS-tastic response.

Blue: My family is messed up. My sister got with ("poached") my other sister's man.

Green: But polygamy is practiced in many cultures.

Blue: And none of their kids ever left home.

Green: But big extended families are part of many cultures.

The conversation usually ends with Blue screaming at Green, "I don't CARE what they do in the Trobriand Islands, my family lives in Hoboken!" and beating Green over the head with any Margaret Mead book.